How I feel vs. How I am choosing to feel

Posted on May 3, 2016 by jfulford01

This has been a difficult month for me. It started off exciting and promising, but as the days flew by those feelings changed. I thought that this was going to be a life changing month for me. Over a year ago, I had a God moment where I felt His direction in a certain area of my life. We all know change can be super exciting and super scary. When I had that time with the Lord, I was so sure that He was giving me the timeline of a certain month. He told me — months and that number of months led me to April.   I did not have a specific day, just a month. So I have spent more than a year counting down to this month and praying for this month and believing that this was going to be the month that I  would see His promises fulfilled in my life.

It is now May.

So how is a person supposed to feel when they  see what they thought was going to be a miraculous month pass them by?

I can tell you how I feel-

I feel discouraged. I feel broken. I feel foolish. I feel inadequate.

All of these negative feelings have been bombarding me. I feel so discouraged because I thought that things would be different by now. I feel broken because I don’t understand why they are not different by now. I feel foolish because I did have a few close friends praying with me and they have seen my timeline come and go. I feel inadequate– like who am I to think that the Lord would speak to me in such a way. I must have been wrong. I must have done something wrong and now I am not worthy of that plan.

That’s a lot to try a fend off constantly.

I have to be active in this situation and make a choice. I can let those thoughts and feelings overwhelm me, or I can choose differently.

I have been through too much in my life to settle for this. I have to choose differently. I have to choose to remain hopeful. I have to choose to rest in God’s timing. I have to choose to ‘know that I know’ that God has me in the palm of His hand. Nothing has happened that surprised Him. My life did not hit a detour that He did not know about which caused the timing to be thrown off. Nothing surprises God. This isn’t easy by any means and it is an active choice that I have to make every day– sometimes every hour. I still pray and cry and question. At the same time, I have to believe that He has me. As long as I am seeking Him, He will guide and direct me. Things aren’t always going to make sense to my human mind. I have to be ok with that and put all my trust in Him.

If you are like me and find that sometimes things aren’t working out how you thought they would, just hold on. Believe that He is working all of the details out. He is for you. The negative thoughts and feelings can come so easy and quickly— so choose differently.

 

And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature…..  -2 Peter 1:4

 

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A Day in the life of a homeschool mom that also happens to work full time…

Posted on April 16, 2016 by jfulford01

I am asked all the time how our homeschool schedule works since I am not technically a SAHM. I get asked when I sleep…..and when the kids have school….and what they do while I nap…..

I figured that since I get asked so much, that I would write a little post about it….

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If homeschooling is something that you are interested in and feel  called to do for your family, don’t let a crazy schedule stop you. That is the beauty in it. It is super flexible. What seems to work best for our family right now,  is that we aim to get a day and a half’s worth of work done per day. That way, on the days when my schedule catches up with me and I am super exhausted…..we don’t have school. I can take a day and rest. The kids still do reading and maybe spelling. Taking a day when I need it does not cause us to get behind if we work a little ahead everyday. We also like to take a lot of Fridays off since that is my husbands day off and we can have a family day.

8:45AM- when my eyes usually open for the first time. I don’t get out of bed yet though. I call the kids in my room and give hugs and see what they are doing. I will scan my phone/social media (just being honest) and go through emails while I wake up. Allie helps Gary with breakfast usually before I ever wake up. They are supposed to eat, brush teeth, make beds, get ready and do their morning chores before we start school.

9:30- usually when I get out of bed, remind them that we are starting school soon and they need to finish up whatever they have not done yet or whatever they are working on. Here is where I usually start laundry and load/unload the dishwasher. Once I am up and out of bed, the kids can take the dog outside before we start.

10AM- this is our goal time to start school everyday. We usually all sit around the kitchen table in the beginning. Allie reads a devotion and both kids pray over our day. Then we start. We all work really hard to stay pretty focused from 10-12 on schoolwork. I make sure to prioritize the things that they can essentially do on their own for last. My 6th grader does not need to read out loud to me or for me to watch her write her spelling words out as practice. My first grader does not even need me to necessarily watch him color or connect the dots on a fun sheet. We save those types of pages for when they are having quiet time.

12PM- the kids take the dog out and have outside “recess” time. I stay inside and make their lunch and use the few minutes of quiet for any phone calls I need to make or for reading. Then they come in and eat lunch.

1PM- Quiet Time!! This is when I nap for about 2 and 1/2 hours. The kids are each in their own rooms. Sometimes Gary takes a nap, but most days he does not. I have saved any coloring pages that might have been on his school work and I let him take them in his room and color. He can  straighten his room  and then play or watch TV quietly. He knows the rules and if I can hear him at all…he is too loud! Allie will go into her room and work on schoolwork that she did not get done during the morning. She also has to do her afternoon chores and straighten her room before TV/phone.

3:30PM- is about the time I pull myself out of bed again. The kids take the dog out. I can check on their work from quiet time.  We flip the load of laundry. I start dinner.

4:30PM- Daddy gets home from work. We eat dinner.

5:15PM- dinner clean up and loading the dishwasher. Kids are back outside. I make a list of any school work that they have left and needs to get done for the day. They don’t usually have work to do at this point. However, if my husband has a meeting to go to or something like that- I will just pull them out a few pages each to work on.

6PM- I leave for work

7PM- 3AM- my work shift

4AM- get back home

I usually fall asleep between 4:30 AM and 5 AM.

So, that’s an honest peek into my crazy schedule during this season of life. Crazy is sometimes hard, but not impossible. We will do crazy for those we love. Have I ever found myself thinking that if they went to regular school…I could sleep all day if I wanted….(ALL DAY)!!!! I would be lying if I said that has never crossed my mind. We truly believe that teaching our children at home is what God has for us at this time. I know that He will give us the strength that we need. The flexibility is such a blessing to our lives. We can be available to help with ministry events and anything else that comes up at the church. We are also free to vacation whenever we want. We can plan fun field trips and don’t have to stress about sick days! It works great for our family!

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Cody and McKenzie- Prom 2016

Posted on April 13, 2016 by jfulford01

I had the privilege of taking a few photos of these two before prom this past weekend. They picked a beautiful location and they both looked stunning. Here are a few of my favorites–

 

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Books I’ve read- February/March 2016 

Posted on April 2, 2016 by jfulford01

If you are looking for your next good read or wanting something to add to your library, but are all out of ideas….. These are the books that I’ve read lately…

  

 
Maybe one of these will inspire you…

Happy Reading!! 

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Finally… that post about Nehemiah

Posted on March 31, 2016 by jfulford01

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I Nehemiah 4, we can read about a wall that is being rebuilt. The wall being rebuilt and repaired came with some drama. Some people were not happy and some people were planning ways to destroy the progress. The verse that struck me right in the heart was verse 17.

Nehemiah 4:16-18New International Version (NIV)

16 From that day on, half of my men did the work, while the other half were equipped with spears, shields, bows and armor. The officers posted themselves behind all the people of Judah 17 who were building the wall. Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, 18 and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked. But the man who sounded the trumpet stayed with me.

That line about doing the work with one hand and holding your weapon with the other… that’s a loaded sentence.

This has been my reality for  a while now. Sometimes it can be really hard balancing the two. You want to give more attention to one aspect and then the other suffers. You feel like things are “calming down” and then something else happens and life is a mess again.  When you are in the midst of a battle, you can’t exactly let your guard fall. You have to be on top of your game and on high alert.

Maybe I’m the only one that ever feels this way…if so, say an extra prayer for me today!!

I know that we are being held and protected and kept through any and all times of uncertainty , but being faithful in doing the work all while ‘fighting’ with my other free hand can be exhausting. It can seem like you are operating in a fog- unsure what to expect next.  It’s impossible to do on your own. You need support- people that are going to have your back and watch out for you. People that are trustworthy and faithful. I am so thankful to have people like that in my life. They have truly held me up lately.

All of that to say this-

I have no doubt in my mind that the battles we face are like refining fires. Attacks that the enemy meant for harm, the Lord will use for His good.

If you are like me and have found yourself keeping the faith & doing the work with one hand, all while fighting the fight  with the other hand… I hope you find yourself encouraged.

I know that my promises are still true and that nothing can remove me from God’s hand. He is faithful. He holds my family and our future. He already knows the answer to any issues that we are facing. Our steps are ordered. Any battle that we face, He is going to see us through. (insert  a deep breath here) 🙂 It’s gonna be alright. We silly humans seem to think that life should be neat and perfect and planned and organized and that all issues should be resolved immediately. Sometimes growth is a process. Actually, growth is always a process.

Just hold on.

” The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.” – Exodus 14:14

” When you pass through the waters,
    I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
    they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
    you will not be burned;
    the flames will not set you ablaze.”

-Isaiah 43:2

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A house update 

Posted on March 22, 2016 by jfulford01

I recently wrote a post about my like/hate relationship with our house. I was quite surprised by the fact that the post on this topic was one of my top read. I had people coming up to me at church and offering words of encouragement and even some fresh ideas.

We have been making a few smaller changes to make the overall feel of our home more satisfying to us. I wanted to offer an update and show what we have done so far.
First off, we moved the hope chest from our bedroom to the living room. We want to maximize the space and get as much seating as possible. We also struggle with the large window on that wall. We love it at Christmas time when we put the tree there. I do not like a couch there, because then the curtains are caught between the couch and wall. Just leaving that spot open and bare seems like a waste of space. So for now, we have the hope chest there. I topped it with a throw blanket and a couple of random throw pillows. We also bought a small ottoman to go in front of our smaller chair. We bought a new couch- mainly because the love seat that we had was falling apart.
The space above our stove had been driving me crazy lately. When we were doing our initial work on the house, prior to moving in, we did purchase a fan to go there. Then we were unable to connect it due to a wiring issue. So for 6 years, that wall sat bare. Well not completely bare, there was a hole in the wall and wires sticking through where the hood should have been mounted.

I think the main reason that drove me insane was because our back door comes into our kitchen. So, that is the first thing people see when they walk in… a hole with wires sticking out. Not exactly what I want anyone’s first impression to be. I scrolled pinterest and searched for ideas. I really liked the look of backsplash. At one point, I contemplated putting a shelf there. I found this idea and really liked it. I also was quite fond of the thought that I could handle it on my own (unlike backsplash) and it only cost me about twenty dollars.


I went to Lowes and chose a roll of contact paper that would match my kitchen. Next, I kindly shoved those wires back in the hole and covered it with the contact paper. We put up a tension rod and some curtain hooks….and there ya go. I couldn’t be happier with the way it turned out.

Another cute little touch of character was this ornament. This is actually a Christmas ornament and I snagged it on 75% clearance. I think that I paid like two dollars for it. I thought that it was adorable and that it did not even really look Christmas-y, so it is hanging on our front door.


We are currently working on our bathroom. Our teeny tiny bathroom is a sad site. I had the brilliant idea about two years ago that I was going to repaint it. I painted the walls…and the tile….and the floor. What was I thinking!?! I did not use the proper type of paint, and so it was never even done right. Right now, we are working on removing all of that gray paint. It’s funny how those white tiles that seemed so plain and boring then, look so fresh and clean now!
Spring is here, so we are excited at the thought of working on the yard some.
I still have my list of projects, and I most definitely still have my moments of complete frustration. However, with each little change….each touch of character….no matter how big or small….I find myself satisfied with the house more and more.

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Making A Little Spending Money With Apps

Posted on March 8, 2016 by jfulford01

I have been at this for a little over two months now. I knew that I would eventually write a post about this, but I wanted to wait and give it a little time so that I could really measure if I was successful or not. I already know that there are so many more tips and tricks to maximize this way more than I am currently doing. So, if you have suggestions then please share! If you are new to this, then at least this can give you a place to start. It’s a process. These are the apps that I have used and how much I have earned from them with literally nothing invested.

Just a side note- I set up a separate email account just for the purpose of these apps. I did not want to be bombarded in my main inbox.

The first app was Ebates. A lot of people are familiar with this and I just sound like I am super late to the party. I mainly use this for ordering from Nordstrom, Amazon, and Shutterfly. The hard part for me has been that Amazon isn’t always listed. A couple of significant purchases were made and those were days that it did not show up when I searched. So apparently, there is a rotation of some sort that I just have not figured out yet. I have earned $11.67 from this app. I know it might not seem like much, but I can’t help but think about how this app will come in handy during this coming Christmas season!!

The second app is Shopkick. This one is fun. You earn points by checking in at stores, scanning products, and making purchases. I will admit that I have sent Allie over to stand in the doorway of a store and get my check in points while we were walking through the mall. You can also earn points by scanning items that are listed and you don’t even have to purchase them. Higher points are awarded if you do make purchases. Your points earned can be turned in for gift cards. I have earned $4. This is free money! I literally open the app when I walk into a store that I would going into anyway!

The next app is ipoll. This is a survey app. I have done very little on this- I don’t even think that I have opened the app a dozen times. I need to maybe check this one a little more. Even with my lack of activity, I have earned $5.05.

The fourth app is Inbox Dollars. I use this one daily. Throughout the day, I am sent maybe a dozen emails from this app. I open the emails, scroll to the bottom, click “confirm paid email” and delete it. I earn a few cents every time. I personally don’t ever click onto whatever the email is promoting. I just confirm and delete. You can also complete surveys and earn by watching videos. This app has given me $11.22.

Another app is swagbucks. I earn using this one by watching videos. I use the term ‘watching’ very lightly. I usually play videos when I am at home and my phone is plugged into the charger. I turn the sound off, choose the video type and let it play. My phone has been in the other room earning while I am helping the kids with school or cooking dinner. There is another app that you can get SBTV (swagbucksTV). You can link your account and this second app just makes it a little easier to go straight to the videos. If you are interested in actually watching, they have videos on home & garden, travel, recipes, entertainment, etc. I have earned $7.00 by simply letting my phone play videos wile I am doing other things.

Receipt Hog is the next one. This is probably my most used and I already have  a dozen other people using this app as well!! All you have to do is take a pic of your receipt and rank you experience with 1-4 stars. It’s that easy! I have only ever had one receipt kicked out because of a smudged date. You earn coins based on being consistent ( for entering receipts every week) and for the dollar amount of your ticket. The higher the amount the more coins earned. Every week that you enter receipts, you are moved up a level. Stick with it. By the time you reach level 12 or so, the rewards go up significantly! This takes zero work- you just snap a photo of your receipt!! I have earned $5 so far!!

The last app that I am going to share about is Ibotta. On this app, you choose what store you are going into and the items you are buying from the list. You answer one random question to unlock the rebate and then you scan the item and your receipt. Once your purchases are verified then the rebate amount is put into your account. It does also working sale items-I was paid twenty five cents for buying cookies on my last trip, because the item was on sale! I have earned $20.25. I know people that have earned this much in three days…. So this is a great app to use. I just can’t tell yu how many times I have simply forgotten to check it out when in the store!

That’s a total of $64.19 that I have earned in free money!!

Anyone should be able to earn at least this much since I was investing a minimal amount of effort! I have a feeling that my figures are going to keep increasing!

I am mastering that art of making it a habit and knowing how to take full advantage of each app. For instance- on a trip to Walmart last week, I sat in my car for about 90 seconds before I went in and went over  the items listed on the Ibotta app for items that were on my shopping list. (Or any other items that might be a good deal). Once inside the store, I checked in on shopkick and even scanned a few items around the store for more points. After l left, I put the receipt in my receipt hog app and earned coins. One trip- three different sets of rewards!
Some of these amounts might seem small to you and not worth it, but as you can see- they add up!$4 on shopkick might seem  insignificant, but would you open your wallet and just throw away $4??  Money is money and it adds up. $4 is a cup of coffee or a trip for ice cream! I’ve earned over $30 per month of spending money!

My husband was very skeptical and would always make comments about my phone playing videos. I would remind him that it was on charge and in wifi and then tell him that I was making money! Haha! I think he was impressed though with my $64 total!!


There are a few more apps that I have just started so I cannot comment on them yet.  I have sent a box to swap.com, which is a clothes reselling company. You create an account and print off a shipping label, so it costs you nothing. I’m still waiting to hear back from them. I also just added checkout51 to my list- it seems a lot like Ibotta. I’m going to see if I can double up on rewards from one trip!! I have also added a few photos to foap, which is an add that you can use to sell photography.

My two other favorite ways to save money would be the Walmart savings Catcher app and Bilo fuel perks. I have filled up my car for $10 because of the fuel perks and currently have a little over $40 in earnings on the savings catcher!

The majority of these apps have great sign up bonuses, so go ahead and give it a try!!

 

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So I finally went to Aldi…

Posted on March 7, 2016 by jfulford01

I finally went to Aldi.
I was a little unsure on what to expect. I had read the blogs and articles and knew the basics- bring your own bags and pay a quarter for your buggy. That part- no big deal. The part that worried me as we pulled into the parking lot was what was I going to expect as far as quality. I had read that the Aldi store brand was very good. One of my closest friends raves about all of the fresh fruit that she buys for her kids at a price that is so much cheaper than the regular grocery store. She also happens to live in another state. So of course in my mind, I am thinking that her location is fabulous and mine is going to be awful.
It wasn’t.
I don’t know what I was thinking when we decided to go on a Saturday afternoon! The place was packed!! We maneuvered our way down each aisle trying to check everything out. We bought lots of pantry items and fresh fruit. We did not buy any meat ( except one pack of turkey bacon). I was in testing this place out mode… I was not ready to just dive completely in.
We ended up buying 54 items for less than $100.00.
We took them home and I can say that no one in our family had one single complaint about the quality of anything purchased. They devoured it all within a week.
Our experience has been great.
I also wanted to see if we would really save money by doing part of our shopping there. We generally shop at Bilo (right by our house) or Wal-Mart (open 24 hours). I have no problem buying store brand on most products. There are a select few that I will not budge on and stick to the name brand that we are accustomed to. I carried my Aldi receipt around with me in my purse until the next time I was at Wal-Mart. I did not price check everything- I don’t have time for all that! 🙂
I did make note of the prices of the items that I was either walking past or purchasing.
I compared 23 prices. The Wal-Mart total was $79.27 and the Aldi total was $50.50.

The Aldi in our area is not nearby- it’s about a 40 minute drive from where we live. However, I know that we will be going back. We were quite happy with all of our purchases.
So, check them out!

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Stepping out of the boat 

Posted on February 18, 2016 by jfulford01

It’s 3:30 in the morning.

I’m sitting on my kitchen floor. I can’t sleep. I hate that- especially on my night off. 

I was laying in bed watching Hulu and browsing Pinterest. Then I decided to get up to read and pray…

I have had such a heavy heart lately. Fear has just been completely gripping me. I’ve been dealing with this for a while now. I know why… This is an attack…meant to knock me off course. I find myself scared to death…. Like, a lot of the time. I know that is not of God. I know that is not the way the God wants us to live life. So, to counter attack the increase in fear and stress…. I’ve been increasing my prayer time more. I have always, always treasured the time alone that I drive to and from work as excellent time to pray. I have a forty minute commute and that’s a great chunk of time to talk to God!! I even told Otis that the other night I must’ve looked like a crazy lady! 

During the past few weeks when I have been praying about feeling weighed down, uncertain, and fearful…the parable of Jesus calling Peter to step out of the boat and walk on the water has been constant on my mind. I kept telling God that I did not want to be someone that would not get out of the boat. I want to be bold in my faith and step in obedience.

  
This story is found in Matthew 14-

22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”29 “Come,” he said.Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

I have been constantly focused on the actual stepping out of the boat part. 

The Lord reminded me that I am forgetting the rest of the story. Stepping out of the boat in obedience is phenomenal. The problems arise when you take your eyes off of Jesus. When you see the waves of reality and circumstances about to knock you down. You shift your focus to those things. I was reminded that if Jesus calls me to do something and I will keep my focus on Him— all of the other junk (drama/circumstances/bills/worries) have to bow. 

I don’t want to be asked ‘why did you doubt?’

I know that a breakthrough is coming. I know that as I stay faithful that God is holding me in the palm of His hand. We are seeing amazing things happen in church- people are being healed. I’m talking about all kinds of healing, from deaf ears being healed, swollen joints back to normal, stage 3 cancer… Gone.

God is doing some amazing things in our midst.

That means that we should expect battles. 

I know that I am not alone in my struggle. I see those quotes that you share and that scripture that you posted and even that article that appeared in my feed. 

It soothes my soul to see and hear people from all over the state and even country lift up encouragement. It confirms to me that things are happening and that even mightier things are headed our way. I am not facing this alone. My strongest community is not my coworkers or neighbors or even my extended family…. It is my church family. 

Don’t isolate yourself. Put yourself among those that will lift you up. 

God is greater than anything you and I are facing. He has ordered our steps and will see us through the battle. 

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

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God Bless Our Little House

Posted on February 13, 2016 by jfulford01
Let me start by saying that I am completely thankful to have a roof over our heads and a place to call our own. Don’t get me wrong. I am appreciative for the shelter. I love where we live- the area and the yard. It’s just…..it’s the house itself that I sometimes have issues with. I would describe it as a like/hate relationship. I don’t think that I am ever at the LOVE phase.

We have been in our house for going on 8 years now. I have cried many, many times over this house of mine. I have snarled through gritted teeth how much I hate our house. Our house is old-it was built in the late 50’s. When we bought it, we kind of knew what we were getting into. The house belonged to my grandmother and so I knew that she didn’t have central heating and air installed. I knew that the wallpaper and everything was very outdated. I also knew that each and every room would need work. We immediately poured over $20,000 into it before moving it.

That didn’t even scratch the surface.

Here we are almost eight years later and I still have a seven page long project list.

I know…I know…that’s crazy.

We don’t have a lot of the knowledge to just do most of these projects, and honestly we don’t have the money either.

All of that to say this…

my kids hear my complaints and they see my frustration.

They are praying for a new house – like, every single night praying. I’m not going to tell them to stop! However, I am working on my attitude. I have friends that live in homes much nicer than mine and they also complain and have to-do lists.

I think everyone does and that just comes with owning a home.

I am working really hard on being intentional with my words and reactions.

The power of life and death is indeed in your tongue.

I don’t want my kids to grow up ungrateful. I want them to hold on to memories and laughs and dinnertime conversations and movie nights. Those are the things that I want them to think of when they are older and think back to their ‘childhood home’. I don’t want their first thought to be ‘my mom hated it”….

I am learning that little things can make a huge impact. We recently bought a couple of new rugs and I received a few new throw pillows for christmas. We also rearranged the furniture a little. Instant improvement! I have been making a point to talk up those changes.

Guess what? they feed off of me. They talk about the rugs and the pillows too. (or at least Allie does) ( I don’t  think Gary really cares…. his idea of a nice house is stairs….no stairs=automatic shack in his opinion) (just being honest here)

I am working on making little changes and attempting for those little updates to have the biggest impact. There will definitely be future posts regarding this.
This is the only picture of our house that I could find. All of the other pictures were at night to show off Christmas lights.
house
Now, this is still a pretty old picture. We have done a few projects with the flower beds and front appearance since this photo, but it was all that I could find to chronicle a “starting point”.
So here goes….. there will be tons more pinterest and fixer upper episodes in our future….
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