It’s 3:30 in the morning.
I’m sitting on my kitchen floor. I can’t sleep. I hate that- especially on my night off.
I was laying in bed watching Hulu and browsing Pinterest. Then I decided to get up to read and pray…
I have had such a heavy heart lately. Fear has just been completely gripping me. I’ve been dealing with this for a while now. I know why… This is an attack…meant to knock me off course. I find myself scared to death…. Like, a lot of the time. I know that is not of God. I know that is not the way the God wants us to live life. So, to counter attack the increase in fear and stress…. I’ve been increasing my prayer time more. I have always, always treasured the time alone that I drive to and from work as excellent time to pray. I have a forty minute commute and that’s a great chunk of time to talk to God!! I even told Otis that the other night I must’ve looked like a crazy lady!
During the past few weeks when I have been praying about feeling weighed down, uncertain, and fearful…the parable of Jesus calling Peter to step out of the boat and walk on the water has been constant on my mind. I kept telling God that I did not want to be someone that would not get out of the boat. I want to be bold in my faith and step in obedience.
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”29 “Come,” he said.Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
I have been constantly focused on the actual stepping out of the boat part.
The Lord reminded me that I am forgetting the rest of the story. Stepping out of the boat in obedience is phenomenal. The problems arise when you take your eyes off of Jesus. When you see the waves of reality and circumstances about to knock you down. You shift your focus to those things. I was reminded that if Jesus calls me to do something and I will keep my focus on Him— all of the other junk (drama/circumstances/bills/worries) have to bow.
I don’t want to be asked ‘why did you doubt?’
I know that a breakthrough is coming. I know that as I stay faithful that God is holding me in the palm of His hand. We are seeing amazing things happen in church- people are being healed. I’m talking about all kinds of healing, from deaf ears being healed, swollen joints back to normal, stage 3 cancer… Gone.
God is doing some amazing things in our midst.
That means that we should expect battles.
I know that I am not alone in my struggle. I see those quotes that you share and that scripture that you posted and even that article that appeared in my feed.
It soothes my soul to see and hear people from all over the state and even country lift up encouragement. It confirms to me that things are happening and that even mightier things are headed our way. I am not facing this alone. My strongest community is not my coworkers or neighbors or even my extended family…. It is my church family.
Don’t isolate yourself. Put yourself among those that will lift you up.
God is greater than anything you and I are facing. He has ordered our steps and will see us through the battle.
“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”
Exodus 14:14 NIV