December is a big month for me. It includes my all time favorite holiday– CHRISTMAS. Now, I love Jesus and we do our very best to make sure that our children recognize that He is the reason for this celebration. I can’t even lie though…. I love everything else about christmas too– the movies, shopping, parties, food, music,classic cartoons, decorating, cards, traditions– I love it all. Otis and I also both have birthdays in December, and so this month is usually busting at the seams with smiles, celebrations, and memories.

This time it didn’t start out that way.

A little stress– ok, a lot of stress- bombarded me. It hit me so hard that it almost knocked me to my knees. I felt it mentally and emotionally and even physically.

We even took a couple of days off of school, because I needed time to think through things. I was literally making myself sick.

I prayed… I had Otis pray….I had Allie pray…

I text a few close friends and asked them to pray.

I listened to Even when it hurts by Hillsong on repeat. I took lots of deep breaths. I cried A LOT.

It was a super frustrating and emotional few days for me.

Part of the problem was that I knew that God had me and I knew that promises that He had spoken to me months before, But I just couldn’t see where it all came together. I couldn’t tell where the lines connected.

I couldn’t even believe that I let myself get so upset. Again, I knew what God had told me….but when it all seems to fall apart and you can’t see the next step…..

it left me feeling weak. it left me feeling guilty– my faith should be stronger than this.

I feel better now.

My problems aren’t gone. I don’t have the exact answer.

in fact, the only thing that I do have are HIs promises….and I had those before this situation.

Nothing has changed, but everything has changed.

Life can come in waves and seasons… and sometimes attacks can feel brutal.

Thank God that seasons change, just like waves descend.

You might see where you are now and be holding on to promises of where you will be, but that does not mean that every step in between is going to be easy.