A couple of years ago, I was a part of a Bible Study called Building Friendships that Fit with Elevation church. One thing that I still constantly quote from that study is the concept of having different zones of friends. I believe this is so true! How absolutely exhausting would it be if you tried to be “best friends” with all of your friends!!! Not all friends are created equal, nor should they be! When you try to make it that way, you are ruining a beautiful balance in your life and potentially sabotaging friendships by putting unnecessary pressure on them.
I don’t have a ton of friends. I have lots of acquaintances. There is a difference and that is also important to recognize. I am happy with my circle of friends. I don’t need 100 women thinking they are my best friend- that’s impossible! I have some of the best friends ever that all have different strengths, gifts, and weaknesses. It’s unfair for me and our relationships for me to project my strengths onto them. Ultimately, doing so is only going to make me feel miserable and unloved. Even though that is not true.
For example, I enjoy snail mail. Sending cards… whether a thank you card or birthday card or just because card… that’s totally my zone. If I sit at home and wait to receive a card in the mail from my friends and try to measure them against my area of gifting, then I’m going to be sitting at home thinking that no one cares about me. And where does that lead me? To be absolutely MISERABLE!
This type of thinking can lead you to feeling lonely and sorry for yourself. When there are truly a million other ways that your circle expresses their love for you. You can be so focused on what you are not getting that you completely miss the blessings all around you that you are taking for granted.
Friendships and relationships are so important. We all need that community and this year has certainly taught us not to take that community for granted, because everything can change and you can all of a sudden be longing for hugs and random lunches! For so many people, the circle or tribe of friends is such a tight knit group that literally walk through the ups and downs of life together. To quote the wise Vin Diesel, “ I don’t have friends, I got family.”
And that family is so valuable to me. I want to make sure that I take the time to appreciate them all and all of their different personalities. I want to invest the time into nurturing those friendships and not sabotaging them.