Why do we give fear so much power over us? We allow it to seep into our thoughts, our emotions, and even our actions.

It is just so hard sometimes. I know what God has told me. I know His promises. Yet, when the attacks come I find myself almost frozen in fear. I am so scared. What if His plan is nowhere near  what I picture? What if this miracle that I am hoping and praying for doesn’t come to pass? This could affect my entire life – the lives of my children. How do you recover from something so huge. I cry – a lot. I cry alone where no one else can see me. My mind races. I’m trying to figure out all of these ‘what if’s’…..even though I know that I am simply supposed to trust.

I often think about all of the stories told in the Bible and all of the hard times that those people faced. We have the luxury of reading their entire story in a matter of verses or chapters and it’s resolved. Reading something and living it are two very different things. I think about the fear that must have paralyzed Daniel as he was being lowered into the lion’s den. Or about how the hearts of all those Israelite people were probably beating out of their chests as they saw Pharaoh’s army coming and they stood before the Red Sea. Jonah surely felt like his life was over, that he had disobeyed and this was his punishment. I wonder how Esther prepared to go before the King, knowing that she could very well be killed.

Fear is nothing new. It has been attacking and intimidating people for years  forever.

I know that is not how we are supposed to live as Christians. I know that the spirit of fear is from Satan himself.

But man, once it gets into your heart….it is so hard to get over. It is always there – like a deep, nagging ache that won’t go away.

I think about what an awful person I must be. I’ve basically been a Christian my whole life…my husband is a pastor….yet, I’m standing over here with a lump in my throat that has been there for days. The song that talks about fear being crippling is so true.

How do you handle it?

I have to keep speaking God’s promises out loud over and over. Thank goodness that I journal and blog. I have gone back and read and re-read so many times. I need to be reminded that I may not be in my ideal place now, but God has brought me so far. I have to keep telling myself that God is faithful. He is good. He has taken care of us before and He will take care of us again. Our footsteps are ordered by Him and He is in control of all things. I know all of these truths, but there is something about saying them out loud.

I am thankful to have a support system. I don’t have to completely unload on people, I can just ask them to pray.

I tend to get myself all worked up. I am expecting the miracle that I need, but I am also fearful that it won’t happen. How is that even possible? To be combatting those two opposite trains of thought constantly— that is extremely exhausting.

I just have to remind myself to breathe. Take a step back. Trust. Breathe. When fear creeps in and I start to feel panic in my heart….breathe & trust, breathe & trust.

Isaiah 43:1
But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 94:19
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Breathe & trust…..breathe & trust…..breathe & trust….