just a glimpse of my heart

As you know, I am posting the books that I read each month for two reasons. Number one- it might just help if anyone is looking for something for their next summer reading! Number two- it holds me accountable to my goal. Almost a year ago, I set the goal of reading three books per month. I seriously had a stack that was getting out of control. I would read book reviews or hear about books that I wanted to read, order them, and never read them. There have not been many months that I met my goal, but reading something is better than reading nothing. My husband reads- a lot. I wrote a post recently about our kids and the summer reading program at the library. Some times it is nice to turn all screens off and say we are going to spend some time reading now! 

This month I have three books pictured, but I really consider this to be a two book month. The third  item was a short devotional. 

Teachable moments was a wonderful book that was full of personal stories from the author and things that she faced while raising her kids. She would teach you concepts, tell her story and then show examples of how to use moments in life to teach your kids. I liked the fact that  she reminded the reader how to flip those sometimes painful situations into lessons on integrity and character. 

23 Minutes in Hell is a book that I had read once before, but it has been several years. I decided to read it again and make any notes from it and then pass it on. This book tells the personal story of a man that visited hell. The author researched scripture after his experience and gives scripture references to back up everything that he went through. This would be a great resource for any teacher or leader that might be having a series on hell. Also, it’s a interesting read for anyone at all that is just curious. If you grew up in church, you learn about hell and think that you know all that you need to know. Fire, torment, heat…. Got it covered. This book can just show you how much more is mentioned in scripture that you probably just read right over. 

The Selah devotion was a refreshing addition to my daily reading. It includes quick devotions that spoke to my heart many days. 

I came across this idea for a post and thought that it sounded like fun. The post idea was to go to your music, hit shuffle all, and list the first ten songs that play.

Sounds fun….and playful….and carefree….perfect for summertime!!

I don’t know about y’all, but I find us listening to music more and more at my house. It used to just be worship music playing during our school day or on Sunday mornings while we are hustling to get ready and out of the door for church. Music can be such a fun part of life. We listen to all kinds of music at our house. We listen to it while we clean and tackle chores or have soft music playing during reading time. I am sure I am just like every other mom in the world that is fighting the battle on TV time during the summer. It seems to be especially hard this week while Allie has been gone during the day at camp. Gary just wants to watch his favorite shows- like the entire season- while he has the TV to himself! Music is a great alternative to the TV.

The more I am typing this, honestly the more nervous I am getting…. haha….thinking about certain songs that might be embarrassing if they show up in my first ten. I am absolutely horrible at deleting old music- I will just keep it on there forever and skip it when necessary.

Oh well, here goes-

1. Escape from Snyder – The Newsies Soundtrack – I think it is hilarious that this came up first. The kids and I will sing all of these songs word for word. Otis is not a fan- at all. We usually just skip the musical numbers….
2. Party In the USA – Pitch Perfect Soundtrack
3. Can’t  Stop The Feeling- Justin Timberlake- I will admit that this is my current alarm tone
4. Wanted Man- Needtobreathe
5. Alive- Hillsong Young & Free
6. Castaway on Pirate Island- The Never Land Pirate Band- Gary’s 3rd birthday was pirate themed and we had this album playing on repeat the entire time
7. Forever- Kari Jobe
8. Out of the Woods- Taylor Swift
9. Great are You Lord- All Sons & Daughters
10. More Heart, Less Attack- Needtobreathe

Go ahead and hit shuffle and check our what your ten songs would be!!

I will be the first one to admit that we did not take full advantage of this place for years and years!! Three years ago when we started homeschooling, one of the first things I did was go to the library. I had visions of us there learning together and my kids nurturing their love of reading. Egh. We made that first trip, got Allie a card and basically didn’t make it back for quite a while.

Now it is quite the opposite! Otis started taking the kids once a week (sometimes more) after dinner once I had left for work. Both kids have their own cards and check out books on their own. Allie has loved having access to the library and searching for her favorite books/series. Gary loves playing games on the computer and checking out books & dvd’s. 

We have used their resources to research book reports and science projects. We have taken all of our schoolbooks and had class at their tables to give ourselves a change of scenery! Our kids love to go to the library now!

We have had to lay down some rules. Like- Gary has to check out more books than movies. (They have quite an extensive Lego dvd’s collection). 😃 He came home once with one book and three movies. #typical

Libraries put out a calendar and offer all kinds of free classes and activities. Both of our kids have taken part in the summer reading program where they are rewarded according to how many pages they’ve read. They are also placed in weekly drawings! Allie has won a free fast food meal, free ice cream, a shirt, passes to a local water park, and a ticket to a baseball game!! All of that in just a few weeks! It has definitely been worth it for her!!! She has already logged over 500 pages and is going strong! Gary hasn’t won anything yet, but he has logged about 85 pages so far! 

The library is certainly something you should check out if you haven’t been in a while! When we start our school year up again, we plan to put Allie in some of their computer classes. You might be surprised at some of the things on their calendar- movie nights and Lego building! What kid doesn’t love that!! 

Next time your kids say they are bored, maybe it’s time to take them to the library. They will probably sit and look at books for a while trying to decide what to bring home. Before you know it, you’ve had a night out of the house,they’ve come home with something to do, and it involves books & not screens. Triple win!! 

Happy Father’s Day to you all! This is such a special day that gives us wonderful opportunities to give tribute to the men in our life. I am thankful for my dad and my father-in-law. I am also thankful to the men who were like spiritual fathers to me over the years- teachers, youth pastors, principals. There are so many people that have had such an influence on my life over the years. However, that is not the purpose of this post.

I have found him whom my soul loves.  Song of Solomon 3:4

I am so in love with my husband. I will be forever thankful that God brought us together. This is a fabulous chance to give honor where honor is due.

I have spent more of my life with him than I have without him, and that is a great feeling. He is the man that has taught me what  marriage should look like. He has loved me at my worst and never doubted me. He has given me self confidence and an amazing life. He has always encouraged me to chase my dreams and have faith that God will work the details out.

The type of father that he is would put the majority of people to shame. Seriously, he loves his kids. I should say he loves his family with all that he is. He is active in every aspect of all of our lives. He shuffles kids to practices and reads them Bible stories. He has taught them not only life skills, but the most important skill. He has taught them to pray and the power of prayer. Our kids first instinct when they fall and scrape their knee or have a stomach ache is to pray. It melts my heart. He is teaching them by example to believe for big things and to walk out their faith. My seven year old has walked up to strangers downtown and prayed for them. ( I was never even exposed to anything like that until I was a teenager).  He is a strong spiritual leader that seeks God and takes his calling seriously and passionately. He serves with all that he is and sets the example with doing the “dirty work”. He is a leader that will be down in the dirt with you getting the work done- not supervising only.

The fact that we have the privilege to serve as a family in our church is such a blessing. We do life as a unit. Our kids are often the first volunteers at events and the last ones at clean up. Again, they learn by example. We all know that instilling a servants heart in our children requires a lifestyle, not just a planned opportunity that is scheduled once a month.  We work hard and we play hard– all as a family. Our kids know better than to try and play us against each other. We are a united front and some people probably think that we over communicate…if that is even a real thing. We talk all the time throughout the day- every decision is ours to make together. I am so thankful for that mutual respect and love. Sadly, I see people all around me that don’t have that in their relationships and it makes me love my husband even more.

Today, I had the honor of watching him preach in our main service. He has preached many times and I am always so proud. There is something about watching him in his element….seeing him so passionate about his calling. I watched him this morning pray over each and every man in our service. I watch him on Wednesdays pour his heart out to make a difference in the lives of students. He gladly goes on his day off to have devotions at the highschool and serve as chaplain for the football team. It is very unlikely  for us to be out anywhere- movies, restaurants, shopping- and not have someone approach him and say “Hey, Pastor Otis”! As I am typing this, he is sitting across the room from me. Our living room is full of young people and they are watching the basketball game. They are cheering and laughing and being loud. I love it.

I can’t fathom my life without him. To think ‘what if’ and ponder where I would be if we were not together brings tears to my eyes. I think back on all of the life that we have lived together and am so thankful for the memories. I look forward to the future and know that the best is yet to come. The Lord has given us some pretty big dreams and it is so exciting to watch as those very dreams are coming to pass. There is absolutely no one that I would rather walk thru life with. Don’t get me wrong- he drives me crazy sometimes, but I know that is because no one has complete access to me like he does. I am grateful for the legacy that He is leaving for our children.

My home, life, and heart are all overflowing. Thank you, Otis. Happy Father’s Day. Thank you for all that you do. You manage to make me fall for you day after day after day. Thank you for the husband and father that you are. Thank you for being your amazing self. Don’t ever doubt yourself- you are spectacular and I love you.

Every year toward the beginning of summer, we devote an entire week to some sort of missions work with our youth group. (Fuel is the name of our youth group😃…. Just in case someone is new here) we have done many things over the past few years. We spent several years volunteering at our local Ronald McDonald House. We have also served at a local inner city church and clothes closet. We even spent one year just working at our own campus and doing some cleaning and updates to the campus. We are always looking for opportunities to serve our community and we always make that a top priority to instill in our youth. 

This year we served another church in the area that had some work that needed to be done. We painted and moved wood.

We pressure washed vehicles and spent several days going door to door in their surrounding neighborhoods. We invited their neighbors to church and always offered to pray with them.

We spent one morning at a nursing home. (I think it was more like an assisted living home?) We all had great stories to tell from talking to the residents and are planning on going back very soon!

On our final day, we headed to downtown Charleston  and walked around in a park in the middle of our city and offered to just pray for people. It always amazes me the way that our students will step up to the plate and pray for others. God certainly had our steps ordered as we made numerous connections with people that needed a blessing!

This day blessed us just as much as we were able to bless others! ❤️
I am always extremely proud of our students!! They work hard. They all have such a servants heart. I am forever thankful to get to play a small role in the lives of these amazing people that will without a doubt be world changers!! 

When I was a little younger, I never had any problems waking up to an alarm clock. It could go off once and I was up and out of bed- no matter what amount of sleep I had gotten the night before. I can very clearly remember quite a chunk of my life that involved midnight bowling which lasted 11pm-2am, followed by Waffle House, getting home at 4ish and having my alarm go off at 6 to be at work by 7 and working a ten hour day. No problem! Haha! 

The last few years (or the last decade!) have been quite different!!!  Night shift is no joke. I have been known to sleep straight through my alarm(s). If I knew that I had to get up and be somewhere…. and not to mention look somewhat presentable… I would set about six alarms. Otis would always laugh at me when he would see me rolling through my alarm screen to choose which ones to set. His alarm goes off everyday- workday and weekend- at 6am. My alarm options are quite extensive. I had to have alarms for my  nap times and just regular waking up and everything in between. 

I mentioned in my last post that last week I was still having a hard time adjusting to my new schedule. 

This week is a different story. We had our annual youth missions week (a separate post to come about that soon) and it has pretty much forced me back to the schedule of a “normal” person. After working during the day in the heat…. I was ready to go to bed at 10:30/11 and slept soundly all night long. 

That is cause for celebration in my book!!! 

I am now declaring myself happily adjusted!! To celebrate I am deleting my alarms- all 62 of them!! 

#nomorenapsforJulie

It has been a week since my last night at work. It’s been an amazing week. Otis had already scheduled a few days off during this time (before we were even 100% sure of my quitting time). He has had a few crazy-busy weeks at the church and knew that he would appreciate some time off to recover. 

Adjusting to a normal sleep schedule has not yet happened. Some nights, I am still up until 2 or 3 am. I still want to go take a nap after lunch every day. The good thing is though that the naps are much, much shorter than they were before! I know that it will take time for me to adjust. I had done some research and found that it usually takes about three weeks. I am definitely looking forward to that adjustment!! 

I have not bombarded the work at home thing quite yet. I have maintained my status on the sites that I have already been working on. There are some things coming, but I haven’t completely jumped in yet. I wanted to enjoy some time with my family and give myself grace for an adjustment period. 

We have loved the time off together. We have grilled out and played games. We have skipped rocks and gone to movies. We have spent time outside and lit sparklers. 

It’s been wonderful. 

I’m so looking forward to the rest of the summer! 

It has certainly been a crazy busy couple of months. I only managed to read two books in the past two months, but that’s better than nothing!! 

I had read this Beth Moore book many years ago. I decided to pick it up and re-read it. A lot of life has been lived in between the first and second reading. A lot of growth and happiness and struggles have also occurred. It was great to read it again with fresh eyes and a new outlook. 

Crash the Chatterbox was amazing. I had gotten through about half of the book when I realized that a struggle that we were going through was perfectly addressed in this book. So of course, I passed it over to Otis and told him he needed to read a certain chapter that I thought would minister to him. Next thing I know, my book is in his office! Haha. We gladly passed it back and forth until I could finish it up and then I told him he could have it.

These are both great books that many people would find beneficial! I hope that if you are looking for something for your summer reading, that you will choose to pick one of these up soon!!!

Happy Reading!! 

Go ahead. Take a seat. This is going to be a doozy of a post.

Taking that first step out in faith can be scary. I know, because that is right where I am. If you have been following my blog, you have heard me reference changes coming and an amazing God encounter that I had a while back.

I have been at my job for 14 years. I have not been happy for a while, but I was a slave to a paycheck. I just told myself that this was it and that everyone has to work. I just needed to deal with it and accept it as a part of life. My exhaustion and stress level were affecting every other area of my life- the type of mother, wife, teacher, and youth leader that I was. I felt like I was in a rut.

In October 2014, Otis and I took a trip to NY for the Hillsong Conference.  At the very last minute as we were headed out the door to the airport to leave, I ran back in my room and randomly grabbed a book from my nightstand. (I generally keep my unread books in a stack on the top of my nightstand and once they are read I either pass them on or move them to a different shelf.) This particular book that I had grabbed was one that had been sitting on my nightstand for literally years. It was a book that I had purchases off of the $5 sale table at the Christian book store and never read it. It always seemed to get shuffled to the bottom of the stack. I honestly couldn’t even have told you what the book was about. I grabbed it to take on our flight. I figured that I would have a few hours and that I could maybe get  through it and at least move it off my nightstand.

God’s timing is absolutely perfect. The book was Five Little Questions That Reveal The Life That God Designed For You by Dannah Gresh.

I was already going into this trip with an expectant heart, but I was not prepared for becoming such a mess before we even landed. During our flight, Otis fell asleep. I sat in the window seat and read the entire book. I had tears pouring down my face the entire time. It was like my heart and emotions were in those pages. She told her own story– about feeling a pull and wanting to serve God completely. She talked about being a slave to a paycheck and how she now regrets those years that she wasted being miserable. She talked about serving God no matter what phase of life you find yourself in, but at the same time preparing yourself for change.

This was me. I pretty much had an ongoing conversation with the Lord the entire flight. I felt Him whispering to my heart that He had more for me than life as I was currently living it. How could I effectively serve Him while going through the motions of life in a fog? I felt the reassurance that this was not just a me being tired or selfish thing, but truly  a God thing. I really felt the prompting in my spirit of the time of 18 months.

I dried my tears and gained composure. I did not want to have this conversation with Otis right then. This was no doubt going to be a loaded one that required lots and lots of discussions. We gathered our luggage, jumped in a cab, and headed into the city. All the while, my heart was racing and my thoughts were all over the place. The very first night at the conference, they sang the song Oceans. No surprise there, right? That song is extremely popular and I would go on to hear it numerous times during the praise and worship. There was just something about that first time. The words to the song are very missionary friendly…you know ….

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail….

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Without borders…how much more missionary can you get. Don’t get me wrong- it is a fantastic song. I just never applied it to my life on an intimate level.
That is until that night. The Lord whispered to my heart while we sang the chorus- this isn’t about missionaries- it’s about you. Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone and let me remove the borders from your planned out life? Are you willing to step out of the boat onto the waters?

Cue even more tears.

When I had the conversation with Otis, He was so supportive. He wasn’t 100% sure how it was going to work, but neither was I. He just knew that If God told me to do something that we had to walk in obedience.

Now 18 months out from the conference would have been April 2016. Let’s be honest, it is really easy to talk about something that is far off like that and think that it will all work out later. I had notebooks full of plans. I was trying to wrap my human mind around this plan and trying to figure out how to make it work. If we paid this much extra on this car then it would be paid off and if we put this much into savings then at the end of the 18 months we would have that much.

Human’s Plans do not always equal God’s plans.

Not a lot of that stuff worked out. I was fine with that because we were still 18, 17, 16, 15 months out and I had time for God to send me a sign or open a door. We chose to tell a few friends and have them pray with us. Thank God for them. They held us up in prayer and sent encouraging cards and texts that always came at the perfect time. “April” had become this  thing in the future that we were going after but it always felt out of our grasp.

Then came the doubt and fear.

Was this for real? We could never make this a reality! Did I even really hear from God?!?

Those are the thoughts that went around in my brain nonstop. As April approached, the fear and doubt grew. The excitement also grew, but the fear and doubt did not go away.

I found myself thinking about Disney. What if  we could not afford are usual Disney vacations every other year!?! What about the family trip to New York that I secretly had been hoping for in 2017? What about our dream vacation to Australia for our 25th wedding anniversary? (now I know that is still a while away, but the enemy was taking my dreams and using them against me. he was using them to cause me to doubt the greater dreams in my heart of fully trusting God).

We were coming home from somewhere. We were all together in the truck and had just pulled into the driveway and then we switched radio stations randomly. It landed on a Christian station with a voice that we were familiar with and had listened to over the years. He said there is just something that I don’t understand about people and vacations. So, I sat in the truck in our driveway and listened to what he had to say. He talked about how people are willing to work 40-50 hours per week at a job that they are miserable at just for 2-3 weeks of vacation per year. They are trading  49 weeks of misery  for 3 weeks of happiness. That doesn’t add up.

ok God, I hear you.

I had never thought about it that way. So, from that night on I decided in my heart that God had me. He would take care of me and my family. Life might look different, but He ultimately knows the desires of my heart. I don’t want to be holding on so tight to the GOOD that I am missing out on the GREAT that He has for me.

As the countdown continued on, more things would hit me. I was worried about health insurance and Christmas shopping. I even found myself getting upset one night when I stopped at CVS to buy eyeliner. I thought to myself “oh my gosh, what if I take this step and I can’t afford eyeliner anymore!” I’m just being honest….and yes,  eyeliner is my favorite make up! 🙂

When friends of ours decided to go into the missions field, they did not just go buy plane tickets, fly to another county, and trust that God was going to lead them. Our God is a God of order. They gathered backing and support. They went through training and preparation. That is what we have been doing really the past 4 or 5 months. We do not intend on having life come to a halt. We have had meetings and asked for advice. We have planned a trip already for December and have been saving for that. We have paid off bills and made adjustments. We have saved money and researched online work from home jobs. We have talked to our kids about how things might be different. I have put a major dent in our Christmas shopping. (for real though, I have never, ever been this ahead of the game) We have been doing our best to do our part. We are praying like crazy and again are so thankful for those that have been praying with us.

Is it true that the first step is the scariest?

I turned in my notice… a little later than the April goal, but it is done. My last night at my job is tomorrow night. I have talked to people on the phone that have said they can hear a joy in my voice. I have hugged people that said they feel a peace and others have said that so much tension in my body is gone.

This first step out of the boat can be scary. I am looking forward to a bright future. God has already opened so many doors for my family and I believe with all of my being that He is going to continue to use us in a mighty way in our community. I am looking forward to living in my passion. I want to no longer be an overgrown toddler that has to constantly rush home for naptime. I am so excited to give my kids the mom that they deserve and not a few good hours before I am ready to crash again.

There is no treading water with God. You are either in or out. You are obedient or not. You go when He says go or you might be missing out on His will completely. I don’t want to miss out on God. I want to live my life up to my full spiritual potential.

I want my kids to see me walk in my faith. I want them to know that serving God does not always come in a pretty little package. Sometimes life is scary/messy, but fully trusting the Lord is always worth it. I want them to know that no matter what life throws at them in the future that God will uphold them and that He will direct their paths. I want them to be able to say, I can trust Him with this, because I remember when I was a kid and my parents trusted Him totally and He took care of them.

So, I am typing this and full of joy. I am full of peace. I am also full of expectant hope. I know that this step in obedience may just be the step that ends some other areas of attack. God’s timing is not a coincidence. I am believing for amazing things.

Continue to pray for my family and believe with us! ❤

There will definitely be more posts and updates on this topic in the future, but now at least everyone knows where we are.

Proverbs 3:5-6

Story of my life— I’m over here and cannot sleep on my night off. I slept great for about three hours. I was wide awake at 3AM and tried to fall back asleep. After laying there for about half an hour with no luck, I gave up. I started pondering my options as to what I could do at 3:30 in the morning-

• I could watch youtube videos and try not to wake Otis up with my laughter
• I could scroll facebook and twitter, refreshing every other minute hoping for something new and interesting to show up
• I could go on pinterest and plan next years homeschool lessons, our dream house remodel, and the dinner menu for the next month all on one app
• I could clear out my inbox
• I could read some of the blogs that I follow
• I could watch If I Stay on hulu for the hundredth time

Sadly, I did the everything on the list except the last one. Instead of starting up the movie, I opted for something different. While I was doing all those things listed above, I was viewing my situation as a burden. I was lying there thinking about how tired I was going to be, how much coffee I would need and how it was going to throw my entire day off & I would not be able to get everything done that I wanted to get done.

I let out a big sigh. I realized how loud my sigh seemed  because my house is so quiet at the moment. Everyone is sound asleep. There is no TV, dishwasher, or washing machine going. It is quite peaceful. That’s when it hit me— PERFECT PRAYING TIME, PERFECT DEVOTION TIME & PERFECT READING TIME.

(don’t judge me for not defaulting to prayer in the middle of the night. don’t act like your phone isn’t charging right next to you  on your nightstand and isn’t the first thing you look at once your eyes open)

How could I miss out on this chance!?! This little window of time where I could be completely focused on the Lord. I am not too proud to say that moments like this do not happen a whole lot in my current season. Not the completely personal/not a quick devotion/not in a church service/more than a morning prayer kind of moments with just me and God.  There are just so many things that are competing for my attention. I can barely take a shower without kids knocking on my door wanting to eat doritos for breakfast or arguing over Netflix.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss out on any moments with God. I need Him so much.

We had a fabulous service in youth last night. One of the things that was said over and over was not to let this moment pass you by. How bad do you want God to do something different? or maybe just to do something period? Some of us not only want it, but we desperately need it as well!!

Don’t let moments pass you by. Step out in your faith. Listen for the voice of God.

Don’t feel discouraged or view bumps in the road as burdens. Another so-true comment that was made during last nights service is that growth is painful a lot of times. God will stretch you and sometimes that is not the most fun thing to go through. Don’t be discouraged, because He will see you through.  Look for the little moments with our creator. I don’t want to miss out on any chance I have for intimacy with Him. I want to be in tune and listening for  every word He has to speak to my heart and  alert to every direction that He is guiding me.

God is up to something amazing. I can feel it. I can see little glimpses and know that something big is coming. Hold on. Things may just get worse before they get better. Good news– use the little moments to stay focused. Keep your eyes on Christ. Don’t miss out on time with Him!

But me, I’m not giving up. I’m sticking around to see what God will do… -Micah 7:7