just a glimpse of my heart

I would think that many people who might read this blog probably know my brother Brad. Some of you may not, so here is a little summary to get you up to speed. Brad is one of my younger brothers. He is 30 years old. I would love to tell you all about my wonderful memories of him and how he is an amazing brother and uncle. The truth is that Brad and I spent the majority of our adult lives living about 20 minutes away from each other, yet we only saw  one another maybe once a year. The thing I would always tell people was just that his lifestyle was so different. He was into the partying and drinking scene. We would usually see him at Christmas. Otis and I have always been very active and committed to church & our faith….that didn’t exactly matter too much to him. He would be invited to our kids birthday parties and things like that, but most of the time he just skipped out. It did make me sad. He would call us once in a while when he was feeling especially down. I remember telling him on more than one occasion that the difference in my life and his life was Christ. I felt like He knew what he needed to do to turn things around. He just wasn’t ready. 

I’ve spent many hours praying over Brad. God spoke to me and told me that Brad was going to find salvation again. I wish I would tell you the exact date. I do have it written down in what was my current Bible at the time. I still have that Bible, but somewhere in our two moves it ended up packed away. I know it’s here….I just haven’t been able to put my hands on it yet. I would be lying if over the years I didn’t have thoughts of doubt over that promise made so many years ago. I mean, this was something that God spoke like 10 or 11 years ago. Over all those years, I have been praying those desperate kind of prayers. You know the kind–just praying that God would keep him safe despite poor judgement and decisions….I prayed that God would get his attention by whatever means necessary…even if that meant him getting sick. I knew that my brother was an alcoholic…..and yes, I prayed that it would make him sick— sick enough to be a wake up call.

Now let’s get to September of 2014. Brad entered our lives again. He had hit rock bottom and didn’t know what to do. He had spent a few days sleeping in the woods and under bridges as a homeless person and decided that it was time to go home. He walked all the way to my dads house. I didn’t see him in the condition that he was in, but my dad and Otis did. Both said that he was unrecognizeable. Brad spent a few days at my dads house getting cleaned up. Talk was happening about what the next phase would be and my dad brought up Teen Challenge. 

Brad started the Teen Challenge program in Georgetown that same month. He was surrounded by Christian men that were pouring into him constantly. Brad and I wrote letters almost daily. The change that I see in him just overwhelms me. For him to stand in front of a group singing ‘I am redeemed/you set me free/so I’ll shake off these heavy chains/ wipe away every stain/I’m not who I used to be/ I am redeemed.” We are so proud of him. He has been taking numerous classes and meets with mentors as part of the program. This guy writes me now and wants to know how youth is. He tells me that he is praying for us. He is truly a changed person. 

He is now in Alabama finishing out the rest of the program at a center in Selma. I am excited for life after the program. I’m excited to see what God has in store for him. I know that this is only the beginning of the journey. God has brought him so far and I know that the plan for Brad’s life is an amazing one. The Brad that I see now even looks completely different than before. He is glowing. His joy has been restored.





As part of the program, the group travels around to different churches and share testimonies, skits, and songs.   That guy in that picture  above is a walking  testimony- a walking  promise. 

Brad called me yesterday  to share an opportunity that he has been presented with. He has the chance to go on a  week long missions trip to the dream center in California.  This trip would be in June.  Brad was one of  only three guys chosen for this trip.  Just like he told me on the phone, nothing is by chance. Everything is ordained by God and he believes that this is a God opportunity. Like all missions trips, this is going to cost money.  The cost is going to be around $1500 for airfare, lodging, food, rental cars, and everything. If you are interested & able and would like to contribute to Brad being able to go on this trip, Please let me know- I will be able to send all funds to him. Above all else, please pray for him. Pray for this trip. Pray for his classes. Pray for the fundraisers that they will be doing to work toward making this possible. Pray for his steps to be ordered and that he will be guided by Christ when it is time to leave the program. 

We are covering him in prayer and are thankful for all the prayers and financial contributions!

God is so very faithful!

I have taught our youth Sunday school for about five years now. We have fun. We had an interesting conversation this past Sunday that I wanted to share. The point made can apply to anyone and everyone at some point of their life or another. 

We talked about GPS systems. We all have navigation on our phones. We probably use it quite often. If you are like my husband, then whenever we are heading out on a trip….the navigation is one of the first things he gets set up. Car loaded, family in, car cranked up, and navigation set with our destination.  

Let’s be honest. Do we really need the first five or six steps? Do we have to hear that voice telling us how to make our way out of our neighborhood? The answer is no. We don’t really need the GPS until we get into unfamiliar territory. 

Isn’t it a shame that we often treat our prayer life the same way! 

So many times we might look at our life and think that we know the general direction that our life is supposed to go. We might think that we can handle steps 1-5 all by ourselves. 

Well, of course grades are important.    You might think that you are a student and you don’t really need to be praying that much for direction from God at this point in your life. You are working toward graduation. You have plans. You love Jesus. You just also have plans. You know where you want to college. No need to pray about that…you already know….maybe it’s where your parents and siblings went…. So obviously that’s where you are going too.  You plan on following God. You are going to spend time in prayer when you get out into the unknown territory. Once your past the steps that you feel like are the obvious ones, then that’s when you turn on the GPS….that’s when you will seek God for direction. 

But what happens on your GPS when you have gone the wrong way or gone too far or missed a turn…?



Do you think that our lives are ever like that? Do you think that we miss turns that we were meant to take because we think we know the obvious way to go? Maybe God has a calling on your life to be a missionary and you are not meant to go to that college that every other member of your family graduated from.

If you aren’t seeking Christ all along then how will you know what way to go?

Don’t get so caught up in what you think is the correct direction that you aren’t asking God to guide you. The process of being re-routed takes time and energy. Think about Jonah. It’s so much easier to go the right way the first time. 

Don’t get caught up in your own plans. Seek God with every step you take and every decision you make. His plan for your life is an amazing one and His timing is always perfect.

You know when you have a baby, especially your first baby, and everyone is offering you all sorts of advice…? One of the most common pieces of advice is to sleep when the baby sleeps. Clean houses don’t matter. Laundry doesn’t matter. Sleep is important. A sleeping baby should automatically equal a sleeping mommy. Well, I have been given that advice almost nonstop the past several years and no, I did not just have a baby.  People that know my work schedule tell me to sleep as much as possible and any chance that I get.

Our youngest is six and I have worked EXTREMELY HARD to keep him in the routine of a daily nap….even though it does not always work and I can see it slipping away completely in the near future.  I have kept him napping because I rely on a daily nap. If you know me, you know that I work at night. Not all night, I do get home about 4am. And this causes my greatest internal struggle to date. The great sleep debate. People on an almost daily basis approach me and say things like “oh you look so tired”, “are you sick”, or “is everything alright- you don’t look so good”. To which I smile and most of the time laugh it off with an “I’m always tired.”

Really, I need to discover or even create a new word. I am not tired….or even exhausted….I am beyond both of those things. My schedule sucks. I know. It’s a part of my life right now… This is the season that I am currently in. I choose to do my best to focus on the positive things that it allows in my life. 

All of that is quite lovely, but it still doesn’t settle the debate. How much sleep does a person truly need? I’ve done the research. I’ve read articles and studies graphs to try and map out when it would be healthiest for me to try and rest. But at the end of the day, I deal with the mommy guilt. I don’t want my kids to only remember me sleeping all of the time. Do you have any idea how much our schedules revolve around making sure that I get home by a certain time during the day to take a nap!?! They are very supportive and have always made extra efforts to let me sleep. But then when I wake up and feel like I missed out on a good chunk of the day….or an activity that they wanted to do….well, hello, mommy guilt…..

But then I think about the flip side of things… How many people truly get enough sleep anyway….? How many people jump out of bed when they hear the alarm feeling totally refreshed? Or are they dragging themselves to get coffee after hitting snooze one or two (or ten 😁) times….?

My days feel so much more productive and organized when I do get up early, which for me is like 7:30ish….but only going to bed at 4:15ish makes that a really hard thing to do. So my greatest internal battle besides just pulling myself out of bed is …..getting up and getting things done/taking a long nap/ missing that time with my kids OR sleeping later/ getting things done/taking a shorter nap/ getting a little time with the kids before dinner. It always feels like either way is a struggle. Some days I feel like such a failure. Why do I lack that much self control that I can’t make myself get out of bed when the alarm goes off?? 

This is something that I pray about- quite a lot. I pray that Jesus will zap me with energy when that alarm goes off. I pray that even though I only have a few hours sleep that it will feel like an entire marvelous night— we all know that time runs differently in heaven😃.

What I have come to discover is that no matter what your life looks like…..there are always struggles and battles to face. You can base your entire life looking forward to that next big thing….you know…..finding love, getting a promotion, moving out of your parents house, graduation, losing weight, etc, etc, etc…. No one is going to be completely happy in their life unless they choose to be. 

JOY IS A CHOICE.

There will always be a new goal or dream, but don’t forget to live your life in the process. God didn’t call us  to only enjoy the destination. He has called us to make an impact on others during the journey. 

I may be a sleepy mommy, but I am blessed and love my life. I pray that I am used by God despite my weaknesses and failures. 

Focus on the good. Focus on your blessings, instead of the struggle…. And drink lots of coffee…. 



Thursday is my “normal morning”. I’m off on Wednesday nights for our youth service and so I actually get a good nights sleep. Thursday morning is the morning that I enjoy most of all….my only other night off is Saturday and needless to say our Sunday mornings are packed with church classes, responsibilities, and practices…not to mention getting the kids up and out the door. So Thursday morning really is a nice time in my week. I enjoy feeling like a normal human being. I like getting up before the kids and being able to start the day with some prayer, bible time and worship music. These things are almost always a part of all my days, but they don’t always happen first thing. It’s a nice time to catch my breath. I don’t know about you, but I face doubts in my life. Wondering if the things that I do matter, or if I am just running myself ragged with my lists and jobs that I have made for myself. Making my days so full with things that no one has asked me to do, but I feel like they need to be done….so I do them. Sometimes it all catches up with me and I wonder if anyone even notices or cares or if there is a point to it all. Why not just do the bare minimum? That is kinda how I have been feeling the beginning of this week. However, today is Thursday and it came  in like a breath of fresh air. 

This particular Thursday morning I woke the kids up and told them to get ready and we would go to breakfast. Where else would they want to go but Chic-fil-A?!? I figure that on a normal day we don’t usually start school until about ten, so why not take advantage of these few extra hours on a Thursday? 😃

I am enjoying this beautiful day with my kiddos…..



I want to encourage you to take a deep breath today. God’s got you! He knows the desires of your heart. Rest in Him~ everything is going to be ok- and all those things you do….they matter! ❤️

Acts 3: 1-11
Peter and John went to the Temple one afternoon to take part in the three o’clock prayer service. As they approached the Temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate, the one called the Beautiful Gate, so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for some money.
Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, “Look at us!” The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting some money. But Peter said, “I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!”
Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand and helped him up. And as he did, the man’s feet and ankles were instantly healed and strengthened. He jumped up, stood on his feet, and began to walk! Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, he went into the Temple with them.
All the people saw him walking and heard him praising God. When they realized he was the lame beggar they had seen so often at the Beautiful Gate, they were absolutely astounded! They all rushed out in amazement to Solomon’s Colonnade, where the man was holding tightly to Peter and John

This is a pretty familiar story. I’m sure that you have read it hundreds of times before. Here is a new question to ponder:
What if the beggar was too scared to stand up?
He had been lame from birth. He had never walked one single step in his entire life. Even babies have that awkward waddle phase that we watch them go through as they learn to walk. It is usually a process.

How do you think this man felt?
Maybe nervous…
Maybe scared…

What if he had said ‘no thank you’ or argued that he could not get up and walk because he had never done it before and didn’t know how…

This might seem silly to us. Surely this man’s life had not been an easy one. He was at the very doorway of receiving a healing and ending this lifelong struggle….winning his victory…it would be absurd not to walk through, right?

Sometimes we might struggle with some of the same thoughts that this beggar probably had flash through his mind-

What if I’m not ready?
What if I fall again?

Why do we face hardships and face struggles, and then keep ourselves from walking in the victory?

Maybe it has been a struggle for quite some time…
Maybe the battle has become a part of our identity…
Maybe we lack faith…
Maybe we think that we are not ready…
Or Maybe the fear of where God might lead you or what He might ask you to do is scary…

If God has promised you the victory, then walk in it!

Verse 7 tells us that the man’s feet and ankles were instantly strengthened. You might not know how you are going to stand or where you are going to draw that courage and strength from, but if you have faith….God will give you exactly what you need to do whatever He has called you to do. He will provide.

Don’t wallow in your struggle just because that has become your norm. We don’t know what happened to this man after he was healed, besides the fact that he praised God, held on to Peter & John, and went with them to the temple.

What about the next day?

Do you think that maybe he woke up a little unsure of what to do with himself? His entire life, he had sat as a beggar. He had no skills, no job….there must’ve been a certain level of anxiety.

What if the beggar was healed and then the next morning, he woke up…walked to the gate called Beautiful… and sat down to beg?
That would seem crazy to us. He had this whole new life in front of him. Why wouldn’t take this healing- this precious gift he had been given- and live life to the fullest.

Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe you can relate?

We celebrate the victories in the moment, in the emotions, in the prayer times…but then when we get back to day to day life….normal routines….”the real world”….we want to fall back into old habits.

Don’t walk through your life in defeat.
Strengthen that faith.
Claim those promises that we find in God’s word.
Speak life over yourself.
Base your identity on what Christ says about you, not the lies of this world or the attacks of the enemy.

“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” – John 14:27

“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” -Romans 8:37-39

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.” – Lamentations 3:22

I’m not sure where this post finds you. You could be starting off a fabulous weekend with no worries in sight. You could be in the midst of a storm and not know when the help is going to show up. I just felt the need to encourage and remind someone- maybe you- that God sees you. He has not forgotten you. Your circumstances are no surprise to Him. Run to Him….lean on Him….put all your faith in Him. It will be ok. It is going to work out in His time. I know that is sometimes easier said than done, but He does see your heart. He knows your struggles and knows if you are truly trying to give Him complete control. Isaiah 49:16 reminds us that He has our name written on the palm of His hand. Rest in the fact that He sees you and knows right where you are. You are never forgotten.

I read this quote from Malcolm Smith today and it stirred my heart-

“Now, in this moment, you are the focus of the passionate and unconditional love of God. He loves you with His entire Being. You have all of His love as if you were the only human in existence. And He loves you because you exist without reference to yourr behavior.Understand and live in that reality, and behaviour will change in response to such infinite love that leaves us worshipping in wonder. As John says, ‘We love, because He first loved us'(1 John 4:19)”

Lately, I have also found this song to be quite encouraging…

“Spent today in a conversation
In the mirror face to face with
somebody less than perfect
I wouldn’t choose me first if
I was looking for a champion
In fact I’d understand if
You picked everyone before me
But that’s just not my story
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made
Something out of nothing
I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I’m not living for applause
I’m already so adored
It’s all His stage
He knows my name oh, oh,
He knows my name oh, oh
I’m not meant to just stay quiet
I’m meant to be a lion
I’ll roar beyond a song
With every moment that I’ve got
True to who You are
You saw my heart
and made
Something out of nothing
He calls me chosen, free forgiven, wanted, child of the King,
His forever, held in treasure…
I am loved”
– Francesca Battistelli

I am not exactly sure why, but last night was a rough night in our house. Otis and I were both up most of the night unable to sleep. We spent time tossing and turning. We spent time praying. We are both believing, praying for, and expecting an amazing year in Fuel and our personal life this year. With great progress and making an impact comes attacks. We call things like we see them, and know that some of the things that we have faced lately are just that- spiritual warfare. At one point during the night, I came into the living room by myself and spent some time With God…reading and praying. I wanted to share some of what was placed on my heart during that time.

As I opened my Bible app and contemplated where to start reading, I just had the thought to do a few searches on fierce and strong women in the Bible. I had a few in mind that I figured would be on any list that I looked at, but I had a few surprises too. I am even ashamed to say that one common example was someone that I had never even heard of- probably because I had always just read right over her verse in the Bible.
The first person that came up in my search was Jael. We read her story in Judges 4:17-21.
“Now Sisera ran away on foot to the tent of Jael, wife of Heber the Kenite, for King Jabin of Hazor and the family of Heber the Kenite had made a peace treaty. 18 Jael came out to welcome Sisera. She said to him, “Stop and rest, my lord. Stop and rest with me. Don’t be afraid.” So Sisera stopped to rest in her tent, and she put a blanket over him. 19 He said to her, “Give me a little water to drink, because I’m thirsty.” She opened a goatskin container of milk and gave him some milk to drink. Then she covered him up again. 20 He said to her, “Stand watch at the entrance to the tent. If anyone comes along and asks you, ‘Is there a man here?’ say ‘No.’” 21 Then Jael wife of Heber took a tent peg in one hand and a hammer in the other. She crept up on him, drove the tent peg through his temple into the ground while he was asleep from exhaustion, and he died.”

Reading that story can be slightly intimidating. I can think of a hundred other ways that this story could have played out. She could have let fear control her. Once Sisera fell asleep, she could’ve gone and searched for help. She could have left him sleeping and run to get a male or someone stronger to overtake him. She was smart and quick thinking. She handled the situation herself.

The next example is Abigail and her story is in 1 Samuel 25:2-42. Abigail did what needed to be done to protect her family. She did not wait to see how her husband would respond to the attack. Abigail used better judgment and went ahead and took action. She showed honesty and her family was spared.

We all know the story of Esther, if not you can read it in Esther chapters 1-8. I remember doing a lot of research on Esther in 8th or 9th grade because I did a project on her. The story of Esther saving her people is a powerful story. None of the women mentioned so far allowed fear to take control of them. Nor did they wait in the shadows and pass the job off to someone else. These women were very active and did what was necessary.

Deborah is another famous example. Her story overlaps with story of Jael, and can be found in Judges 4-5. Deborah was the only female judge in the Bible. She was known for her relationship with God and was considered to be wise. She also went boldy into battle. It sounds like she was a great, well-respected leader that did what was necessary and did not shy away from the hard situations.

What about Mary of Nazareth ( the mother of Jesus)? Spend a few minutes to think abut the emotions that must have been going through her mind. I can only imagine how stressed and scared she must have felt… not knowing how people would react…not knowing how Joseph would react. Even through any uncertainty, she was still willing and obedient. Being someone that is a fierce warrior means that we have to be ready to embrace great opportunities.

My last example is Lois. Never heard of her? Or maybe you don’t recall that name coming up in your Sunday School Bible lessons?? Well, I didn’t either. In 2 Timothy chapter 1, Paul is writing a letter to Timothy. In verse 5, Lois is mentioned. “I recall your sincere faith that was alive first in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice, and I am sure is in you.” Lois and Eunice taught Timothy about having faith. They helped make him into the young man that he became. I feel like they must have had quite a significant influence on Timothy for Paul to even mention them by name. This serves as a reminder to me, that all those little moments count. Those times when you are wondering if your kids are even listening….or that Sunday School class that you think are never paying attention…or the youth group that you ponder if you are really making an impact or not…
Isaiah 55:11 tells us that “It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it.” God’s word will not come back void. The little things that you are doing today…the seeds that you are planting….they DO matter. Lois was setting a path for generations ahead of herself.

But back to the other brave and fierce women that we talked about before….and don’t get all upset quite yet. This isn’t a “girl power” post necessarily. Maybe this is just something that I needed….and I thought that maybe I should share it just in case anyone out there might need it as well…

One of the most common verses in the Bible that is quoted time and time again about being a wife is that we are to submit to our husbands. Let’s get one thing perfectly clear, I 100% whole-heartedly believe this and do my best to live by this. However, think about this ladies. Our husbands are in the midst of the battle too. They are going to have moments and maybe even seasons of spiritual warfare. Are we going to use this verse as something to hide behind? Are we just going to wait on the battle to pass before we step out of the shadows, only to measure the damage that was done after the fact? Not me. I refuse to stand by and let my family come under attack. Doesn’t the Bible teach that once you are married that you and your husband are one??
Visualize this– if you were walking down the street with your husband and he came under a actual physical attack, would you just leave him and run and hide. If things were not going in his favor, would you just think to yourself ‘oh well, he is the man, so I’m just going to wait it out’. Would you just stand by or would you step in and do what you could….or whatever you could to help in the fight? You might even find yourself protecting him if he is knocked down!

Ephesians 6: 10-18
“Finally, be strengthened in the Lord and in the strength of his power. 11 Clothe yourselves with the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. 13 For this reason, take up the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground on the evil day, and having done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm therefore, by fastening the belt of truth around your waist, by putting on the breastplate of righteousness, 15 by fitting your feet with the preparation that comes from the good news of peace, 16 and in all of this, by taking up the shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 With every prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and to this end be alert, with all perseverance and requests for all the saints.”

How handy is your armor? Do you have it packed up and put away? Or do you have it within reach so that you can be there if needed? Our husbands cannot be at 100% and fully charged all of the time. Attacks will come…especially if we are truly desiring to make an impact in the world for Christ.

I don’t know what the official Biblical definition of a “vision from God” is. Nor am I saying that I had some amazing vision from Heaven. I will say, that I saw myself. It was a very clear picture in my mind. I was putting on armor. I didn’t look awkward or scared. I looked confident and determined. I looked like I had a goal in my mind and a purpose in my heart….like I knew what I had to do. Ladies, we need to be ready. Warfare is no joke. We can’t let our guard down. We can’t just play the damsel in distress role. We need to be ready to put on some armor ourselves. We have to get in the fight. Are you willing to fast? Increase your Bible study and reading time? Maybe give up some sleep to pray? Most women, including myself, can be fiercely protective….especially of our family. We need to be willing to get in the battle and back our husbands up and stand by their side until the breakthrough comes.
Our families depend on us…

It’s common sense, right? The role of a leader is to lead. That means that you have to be out front…..taking the first step…setting the example….stepping into the unknown.
I don’t know about you, but I have big dreams. I have dreams for myself- habits that I want to create and some that I want to break. I have dreams for my kids. I think about and pray over their futures. I worry about the choices that we make today and how the affects are going to ripple into their future. I have dreams for my family- goals to accomplish, trips to take, and memories to create. We certainly have big dreams for our church and our youth. BIG DREAMS. CRAZY DREAMS. GOD DREAMS. Dreams that I believe are going to come to pass. Dreams that I have faith are happening sooner rather than later.
What does it take for these dreams to become a reality? The life you want and the plans that you have are not just going to fall into your lap. We have to pray like crazy and have a plan. We have to make a decision to send ourselves in the direction that we want to go. It doesn’t usually happen with one single decision, but a series of right decisions and staying faithful to your goals can change a person’s direction in life.
What does your vision involve? What are you doing to nurture those dreams?
The way you want to see your kids going after God– Are you going after Him that much more? Are you giving them the privilege of watching you have prayer and devotion time? Don’t hide away and seclude yourself for prayer and devotion. Involve them. Include them in your devotions- set the example on having intimate time with God. Otis and I have made a point the last month or so to pray together every day. We have missed some days, but I am still thankful for the times that we have prayed. It is a work in progress- a habit that we are still nurturing. We started off going in our room- we would talk for a few minutes and then pray over each other. We don’t necessarily shut ourselves in our room anymore. We might pray at the table or in the kitchen, but we are praying right in the presence of our kids. They are going to remember their parents praying together- praying through hard times and praying for healing.
I have written Facebook posts before about how much I love the Bible app on my phone. It is so convenient. However, what legacy is that leaving for my kids. They don’t know if I am on social media, playing games, mindlessly scrolling through texts or reading my Bible. All they see is mommy on her phone. Be intentional with the example that you are setting- nurture your vision for the future.
If you aren’t willing to set that example, then how can you expect your kids/family/church to ever reach the goals and dreams for the future. Lead by example. Sometimes that can be super scary- Stepping out in faith. Sometimes it can be discouraging when God’s timing doesn’t line up with our timing. We often think that we have everything all figured out and we just know that God is on the same page as us. Haven’t we learned over the years that His timing is always perfect? There is a line in a song that plays on Christian radio that says “to you my future is a memory”- try wrapping your mind around that. God knows us. He knows our dreams and He knows our fears. He has wired each of us uniquely with the passions that we possess for a distinct purpose. I do believe that our time on this earth is coming to an end- I pray that my actions are pleasing to God. I pray that I am having an eternal effect on those around me. I pray that the affects of my actions/service/decisions are having a ripple effect and impacting those farther than I could ever imagine for Christ’s kingdom.
As we witness one year coming to an end and another right before us that is full of endless possibilities, I challenge myself and anyone else reading this to re-evaluate your plans. What steps are you taking to nurture your vision? God has big things in store- don’t miss out. I want to be right in the midst of it all. May 2015 be the best year ever- growth, not only in quantity but more importantly in quality. I pray everyday that God will continue to give us crazy big dreams. I have a vision of my kids and our youth not holding back in worship. Going after God with every ounce of their being. How are they going to step into that vision if we aren’t going to lead them that way?

Be bold this year….I dare you.

Proverbs 16:3(ESV)- “Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.”

Today is a day worthy of celebration in my book. It’s my husband’s birthday. This is the 17th birthday that I have been by his side to celebrate with him. I know that I am biased, but I am a blessed wife. Otis is an amazing guy. Looking back at our stories and how God brought us together, its a humbling thing. To know without a doubt that this is the man that God wrote into my love story, makes me so very thankful.
This is the guy that is everything to me.
He has seen me at my best and at my worst.
He has stood by my side in the midst of drama that would have sent others running.
He has been the target of my undeserved frustration…don’t we all tend to take things out on the people that we are closest to.
We have learned how to budget and manage money together…and the struggles that come along with that.
We have had dream vehicles and then others that were clunkers.
He has seen me at my smallest and at my heaviest and never once asked or suggested that I change.
He has always been supportive of me.
He values family time. I see many dad’s that do not. They work and then they value their “unwind” time. This is a huge blessing to me.
He wants and values my opinion on things and we work together as a great team if I do say so myself.
He holds me together and uplifts me when I am at my limit and falling apart.
He listens to my frustrations and allows me to vent.
We have been through jobs that we hate. To now have the blessing of serving in this ministry is his dream come true, and it makes it that much sweeter to stand and serve beside him.
He exhibits such a contageous passion and energy.
He is an amazing father to our children. A-MA-ZING!!!
He has loved me unconditionally through every up and down that we have ever faced.
He inspires me to be constantly reaching for more in my personal devotion and prayer time.
He lets me nap. 🙂
He puts up with the bazillion lists that I tend to write for everything.
He has never once made me feel not good enough.
He is a hard worker. He is not a pastor that doesn’t answer his phone after office hours (unfortunately, they do exist). This ministry is his calling, not his job and it is evident in the way he prioritizes. He is making an impact on our community and I am proud of the time and devotion that he puts in. It is such a humbling moment when teenagers approach him at restaurants or grocery stores and stop to say hi or shake his hand. These are teenagers that I have never seen before…teenagers that do not attend our youth group. As soon as they walk away, I’ll ask who they were and he will tell me that they come to bible study at one of the schools or they are a part of the football team that he works with. I pray that he never doubts the impact that the little things add up to make.

When I was a teenager, there were certain couples that I looked up to their type of marriage and the relationship that they had. I used to pray that I would one day have a marriage like that. Well, my marriage is so much better than any of those! I pray that in a day and time when good marriages are not the common thing, that we might set an example and show students that marriages can last and be amazing.

I hope that he never doubts how truly, madly, and deeply that I am in love with him. I hope that he knows that he is prayed over daily. I pray that God continues to give him crazy, big dreams and that we get to watch them unfold in our lives. I pray that he has the best day ever today on his birthday.

I am a better person because of him.

“…I found him whom my soul loves…” – Song of Solomon 3:4

I have heard time and time again, ads on the radio for secret keeper girls. I have never been able to take Allie due to my work schedule. This has always bummed me out. This past summer, we were driving home from a trip through Beaufort (i think), and I heard an ad on the local radio for secret keeper girls. It suddenly dawned on me and I have no idea why I had never thought of this before, but why not go to the website and check for shows that would be on my night off and would be do-able for a day trip.

We were blessed to find a show on a saturday night that was in Myrtle Beach, so I immediately bought tickets. I knew that it was called the crazy hair tour, but that was about all I knew. I began to pour over the website and social media to get an idea of what to expect. Allie was excited and we began to plan what our crazy hair would look like. I gave Allie the freedom to choose. We would dye our hair any color that she chose. She was allowed to dye streaks in her hair and I told her that I would dye the tips of mine, so that I could easily cut it out after the show was over. She chose blue.

I showed up at this event thinking that I knew what to expect. I knew that it had a fashion show and I knew that they talked about modesty. A few hours of this with some Jesus mixed in and my Allie….that was what I was anticipating.

I was so thoroughly impressed by this event. I cannot even say it enough. If you have a daughter, granddaughter, niece, kid down the street….any girl in your life….take them to one of these events if you get the chance. The target ages are 8-12 years old. It was the absolute perfect combination of worship, games, audience interaction, Bible verses/teaching, stories, videos, competitions, prayer, fashion, and just girl time. I was texting my husband during intermission saying “oh my gosh, this is soooooo good”.

They kicked the event of right with laughs and some worship time. I LOVE worship time, so I was hooked in the first 20 minutes. They even took the time in the second half to share about how they do free events in not so great areas where the girls probably need to hear the message the most, yet would not be able to afford the ticket. After watching the video, they passed around a bucket for offering and also said that you could become monthly partners to help put on these shows. I had already pulled out a couple of dollars to drop in the bucket- I wanted to set a good example after all. Allie looked at me and said she wanted to become a partner. she wanted to help those girls be able to go to the show. I had to really bite my tongue, because I am ashamed to say that my first instinct was to say no and come up with an excuse. That is just going to give us another bill…. or the infamous : let’s pray about it and we can always sign up later. In that split second I was corrected by the Holy Spirit. Had I not been texting how amazing this event was? Had I not just spent more than a months pledge on our dinner? That is one meal versus possibly forever changing a little girls life. Shame on me. We had spent more than that on gas to drive to myrtle beach. I checked in with Otis and we signed her up as a partner. I believe without a doubt that even just getting the monthly statements in the mail will keep this ministry fresh in our minds and keep Allie praying over these girls.

Another sweet moment was during the fashion show. It was teaching the girls how to adjust the styles that were in to be more modest. For example, tank tops under shirts that may be too low-cut or too short….adding leggings to skirts that might be too short. These were all great examples that we did at our house, but I sure appreciated her hearing it from someone else beside ‘the parents’. They also taught some tests to tell if you outfit was not modest- this caused some laughter, but taught valid tricks that we have already used on a Sunday morning!

During one of the more serious moments when they were teaching about how it was ok to not give in to the pressure of society to look or act a certain way. The leaders had all of the girls close their eyes. They told them to place their hands over parts of their body that they struggled with or wished they could change…..and then they began to pray over these girls. Pray that they would find their identity in Christ. Here’s my confession…. I totally peeked. Honestly, I wanted to see if and where Allie had her hand. But as I looked around this room full of sweet 8-12 year olds, I was amazed at what I saw. These beautiful girls had hands on their hair, their stomachs, their legs, even some on their noses. That just breaks my heart! Who planted the idea in their mind that they were not good enough!? Who fed lies to their hearts saying that they had to look a certain way?! Be protective mommas, if you aren’t watching out for your sweet girl then who is. Watch what television shows they are watching and who they are idolizing. What kind of clothes are you buying for them? is that sending them a message as to how they should look? or how much effort they should put into trying to fit into the mold society gives us? Even the friends that they are hanging around. I have mentioned in previous posts that a big theme this year in our home has been teaching Allie the difference between a friend and an acquaintance. Believe me, there are lots of 10 year olds that are acting like 13 year olds, dressing like 15 year olds, and wearing make up like 17 year olds. We also need to keep in check the example that we are setting for our girls. Do you downgrade yourself constantly or obsess with calories/dieting/pills? What do you think that is teaching these kids that are watching every move we make and hearing every word we speak? Be aware moms, of the effect that your words and actions are having on the next generation.

Well, that event was two week ago. I still have my blue hair….haven’t cut the ends off yet. I have had about a dozen people ask me why wouldn’t I have just used the wash out stuff or spray…why would i actually dye it blue!?! Well, what fun would that be!! 🙂 I am going to take every chance I get to make memories and strengthen bonds with my kids. To me, blue hair is a small price to pay for making memories with my girl. Don’t let these years pass you by, if you don’t take the time to care about what they say now…they are not going to care what you say later.

I love my sweet Allie and thank God that I was chosen and blessed to be her mommy.